Yes, she's really not that ugly

I've never been a fan of "Strangers With Candy" and therefore am not anticipating the long awaited release of the film.
However I am a fan of Amy Sedaris.
Any girl who makes cheeseballs part-time and would take a picture like the one above is cool in my book.
Her brother David is not too shabby himself. I saw him do a live reading at The State Theatre in Ithaca, New York and was fabulous. I recommend checking all his works out if you're not already familiar with him (Which you should be! What kind of Generation Y-er are you?)
Here is an interview with Amy in this week's Onion's A.V. Club
Amy Sedaris/The A.V. Club

The insides of your dog

Cruising around Craigslist.org Los Angeles I found that for "a negotiable rate" one can have "a black and white or color painting of one's pet being destroyed in any fashion they choose".

I'll Paint a Portrait of Your Pet Being Torn Apart

???

Disregarded in both lives

LA Times piece regarding where the homeless' bodies go once they die...
Article was seen on L.A.'s Homeless Blog

Hot Fun in the Summertime in L.A.

But isn't it summertime year round, you ask?

Well, believe it or not, the folks over at LA.com consider Los Angeles to have seasons and in this summer some pretty cool things are going on.
Check out their quick little guide to outdoor events over the next couple of months.

Highlights include-

MOCA: Night Vision- I checked this out last Saturday. It's pretty darn nifty. The Museum of Contemporary Art turns into a club on Saturday nights from 6PM-12AM. Each hour something different is going on- a book reading, a live band, an art workshop etc. Once it gets later into the evening they bring out the cash bar, DJ, and strobe lights. All the while you can meander through the gallery and check out the latest exhibits of Robert Rauschenberg or Lorna Simpson. Admission is $8 unless you are a MOCA member, then it's free.

Greek Theatre- Bloc Party w/ Broken Social Scene Aug. 3rd AND Death Cab for Cutie w/ Spoon Aug. 13th!!! I think I died and went to hipster heaven.

Google L.A. in the News and something fun always comes up!

This week...
-Yes, Grandma, it does appear that I could very well die at any second. The San Andreas fault near L.A. is "READY TO EXPLODE AT ANY MOMENT!"

-West Hollywood is easing it's law against pot. All the parents who snag their kid's pot and smoke it in the basement are no longer targeted.

-Big Brother is watching. LAPD is launching a "unmanned aerial vehicle" that will "will be able to accomplish tasks too dangerous for officers" such as "finding missing children, search for lost hikers, or survey a fire zone." Oh, never mind. The LAPD are using their powers for good.

-And the Sofitel is opening back up. Big deal Google!

Update on the update regarding the Urban Gardeners

So....news is the farm has been leveled and some protesters are still camping out there- watching their farm get leveled. The smart protesters have already moved on and began tending the NEW garden set up @ 111th and Avalon. So I guess all this crazy tree climbing was unecessary wasn't it, Ms. Hannah?
Now the picture becomes clearer...

The ONLY restaurants in L.A. you should be eating at every week (restaurant guide pt. 2)

(I couldn't find a good pic for this posting so I attached my own picture entitled "Ring Around the Deviled Eggs")

1. Genghis Cohen- Szechuan Cuisine
740 N. Fairfax (Fairfax and Melrose)
And they say that L.A. sucks in the Chinese food department.
The best Chinese food I've ever had. Period. I don't know how to describe their food other than "mouth-watering" and "heavenly". I have never been disappointed. Try their garlic chicken or lobster in bean sauce. Their pan fried noodles are AMAZING. Don't let the location in a strip mall next to Radio Shack dissuade you. The inside atmosphere makes you feel like you're in an old-school fancy NYC restaurant. I was told that Genghis Cohen was the inspiration for the famous Chinese restaurant episode of "Seinfeld". I was also told that Sheryl Crowe was "found" here but I have never been able to confirm either of these statements.

2. C & O- Italian
31 Washington Blvd, Marina Del Rey @ Venice Pier
A Venetian friend introduced me to this place. The atmosphere is warm and fun. Servers come by your table every 15 minutes or so with fresh garlic knots. Also, inside they have barrels of wine you can help yourself to. However, you gotta keep your word on how many glasses you pack away. The portions are huge and pretty inexpensive. Don't get a large bowl of pasta without spliting it, otherwise you will have spaghetti coming out of your ears/ass for a week. The restaurant is located at the end of Washington and is surrounded by some great late night hangouts and the ocean. Another C & O is located maybe a mile down on Washington as well.

3. Taiyo- Sushi
5917 Franklin Ave. (across from the Scientology Celebrity Centre!)
The sushi here is like no other. The crunchy tempura roll is I-N-C-R-E-D-I-B-L-E! If I could marry it and have 10 babies with it, I would. Also, the seaweed salad with ginger miso dressing is so tasty that I've come very close to taking a full page ad out in Variety declaring my love for it. The ambiance is sexy. Though the restaurant is a little hole in the wall and the traditional Japanese-style seating fucks with your knees, the paper laterns and miscellaneous kitsch on the walls makes you feel right at home.

The rest of the places would be all the diners listed in previous post entitled-
My restaurant guide pt. 1 (the diners)

Look! Celebrities have the same problems as we do! (or worse actually)

Was just checking out THE BEST WEBSITE EVER for the 15th time today and at the top of the page saw an article about Dustin "I Will Even Refer to Myself as Screech Until the Day I Die" Diamond.
It appears that he will be homeless soon due to foreclosure on his home in Wisconsin and he wants to enlist the help of non-celebrity folk to help him pay for his house. We wants YOU to buy a t-shirt of HIM looking homeless with a quote on the back in ugly font saying, "I paid $15.00 to save Screech's house".
The novelty of this made me almost buy a t-shirt, then I thought, this dude is quite possibly one of the most iconic characters of our generation and he needs US to help him pay for his house? This is the beautiful thing about Hollywood.

Beautiful, crazy thing.

Good luck, my friend. Use that D-list power to your full advantage.
Can your ten inch penis somehow help you save your house?

If you're feeling nostalgic and empthaetic today then get yourself a t-shirt with a homeless looking Screech on it.
getdshirts.com

Urban gardeners update

A lot has happened since my last update regarding this matter...
The South Central farm standoff has made the big news! due to Daryl Hannah's KILL BILL style antics (which pretty much is just scaling a tree and refusing to come down)...
According to reports, when the police began filing into the garden to remove protesters, Ms. Hannah jumped up a tree and refused to move from her spot.

...BREAKING NEWS!
Since I wrote the above line, Daryl Hannah has been removed from the tree. The dozens of other protesters and farmers have been removed from the grounds as well.
It looks like the farmers have lost the fight this time.
However, who isn't to say that more farms will begin popping up over Los Angeles and slowly start taking over the city?
Makes me think of a Talking Heads song...

My restaurant guide pt. 1 (the diners)

I am the queen of diners.
Ah, yes.
I grew up in Central New York, you see, so that is all we had.
So needless to say, I am partial to them.
My nightly adventures throughout L.A. usually include stopping at a diner and sitting with the other solo, typically over 70 years of age, crowd.

I live within walking distance of Norm's on La Cienega. Though I generally go there once a week, I would not recommend it unless you enjoy being nauseous on a consistent basis. With that being said, I continue going back and continue to wonder why my $6 steak is rubbery and makes me feel "icky" afterwards.

When I first moved to L.A., I lived at the infamous "Cokewoods" and would go to Bob's Big Boy in Burbank once a week. Their food is much better. In fact, it is one of my favorite places in Los Angeles. They have the best strawberry pie and coffee. Their burgers are huge and have terrific ranch dressing. They have something called "chilli spaghetti" that's easy to make and very good. The atmosphere is comfortable but not dirty and they stay open all night!

There very first place I ate when I drove out to Los Angeles was Mel's Diner on Ventura in Sherman Oaks. Mel's food is equal to that of Bob's and their menu is bigger, however, the food is a couple of bucks more. I have eaten at all three Mel's a number of times and they're all great (their is a fourth Mel's located in San Francisco). As you may know, Mel's was famously featured in George Lucas' AMERICAN GRAFFITI. The one at Hollywood and Highland has sucky parking. Typically you can see celebs sitting at the one on Sunset. Mel's has the best potato salad called "Herman's Potato Salad" and they have yummy floats and a turkey burger with grilled mushrooms. You can actually get all three together in drink form and the combo is out of this world (sarcasm).

Fred 62 on Vermont is the hipster diner of Los Feliz.
With healthy but yummy menu choices, funny plate names, and everything ending in .62 cents, one can not not enjoy their time there. You can also order booze! Fred 62 is located on the cute little block of Vermont with boutiques and cafes.

The Urban Gardeners of South Central

Found a distressing article being syndicated across the country today...
The owner of the South Central farm located at 41st and Alameda is threatening to replace the garden with a new warehouse. Dozens of farmers, activists, and public figures has been working round the clock to raise enough money to buy the property from owner Ralph Horowitz. Community members have also been camping out in the garden and sitting in the trees in silent protest of the possible impending bulldozing. The activists say they will not move from their spot.

Horowitz acquired the property in the 1980's for investment purposes. When the riots of 92' took place, the city took over the 14 acre property and gave control to Los Angeles Regional Foodbank to help rebuild the neighborhood. With many of the residents in low-income brackets and grocery stores being burned down, neighbors were hard up for food. 100s of families began growing vegetables and fruit for themselves. In 2003, Horowitz sued the city and got the property back. Since then, the 350 families who depend on this garden have lived in constant fear that the farm's time is running out. In March of 2006, Horowitz issued a vacate notice. The farmers appealed the notice in court and are still currently awaiting a decision.

See what you can do to help!
Check out www.southcentralfarmers.com
Article from Bismark Tribune "Los Angeles' Urban Gardeners Struggling"
Refresh yourself on the riots of 1992

Culver City ARTWALK follow up

tara mcpherson @ blk/mrkt gallery


johnny robertson@ george billis gallery


derek buckner @ george billis gallery


michelle muldrow @ george billis gallery

In what felt like 100 degree weather and wearing heels worn down to nubs, I did indeed make it through the Culver City ARTWALK this weekend.
The arts disctrict of Culver City is pathetic. I don't mean it in the sense that, "Oh my God, that's like soooo pathetic!" but rather in the dictionary definition sense of, "arousing pity, esp. through vulnerability or sadness".
In addition, I was probably the only person under 60 years of age participating in the tour.
With all this being said, there were a couple of gems that stood out in my quiet journey:

-The George Billis Gallery located at 2716 S. La Cienega Blvd., has a vast collection of talented artists and photographers. Walking into the gallery, one gets the feeling that Edward Hopper has channeled into the bodies of many of the artists. See above the rural and urban depictions by Buckner and Muldrow for example. Both create soft features and have settings within the early evening glow. One of my favorites pieces is the above entitled "Imperial Exit" by Johnny Robertson.

- BLK/MRKT Gallery at 6009 Washington Blvd. is currently showing dozens of pieces by contemporary artist Tara Mcpherson. Mcpherson is the go-to girl for concert posters. Her artistry has been used by some of the hottest indie bands such as Interpol, Modest Mouse, Death Cab For Cutie and big name staples such as Duran Duran, Green Day, and Depeche Mode.

-Corey Helford Gallery is located at 8522 Washington Blvd. With pieces entitled, "Dead People are Bugs", "Doll Parts", and "His Baggage Always Seems to get in the Way", one can sense what this gallery is all about. By far, my favorite piece during the whole walk is of a pencil drawing of an adorable but sad ewe. On his tiny little leg is a clamp and chain. Blood is trickling down from underneath the clamp. Attached to the chain is a bear trap. Within the bear trap is a tiny broken heart. The ewe stands over the heart tempting to retrieve it. The piece is called "Back for More" by Jason Maloney.

So, see? This stuff is pretty cool, right? Check out the Culver City art galleries and bring the place to life why don't ya?

Culver City ARTWALK

This weekend starting tomorrow at 12PM is the first annual Culver City ARTWALK.
Dozens of art galleries open their doors for free as you can take yourself on a self-guided tour through the area know as Culver City arts district.
Then when you're tired of that, you can go into H. D. Buttercup and fantasize about all the furniture you can't buy.

Steven Seagal has got the blues

So, I heard that Steamroller Productions was looking for a personal assistant to travel for a world music tour.
I checked out Steamroller Productions and it's headed up by the one and only Steven Seagal.
Seagal is going on a world tour???
Hm...
Reading Defamer today, I found out he indeed is and I missed his L.A. show last night! Damnit!

Look at that picture! He has sort of a Wayne Newton thing going on...

Wait!...gasp!....has Seagal gone all soft!? Check out those arms!!!

www.stevenseagal.com

The Piv in all his glory.

Was getting coffee with a friend at Groundworks tonight and saw a butt load of people trying to get into a screening of "Entourage" at the Arclight and after-party at Social.
As I stood there and watched the hoards of social flies trying desperately to get in, I thought, "The show sucks anyways!"
Last year, I watched the first season of "Entourage", was excited about it, then decided it was poop.
Yes, you heard me- POOP!
I will gladly argue with anyone that the show is weak. Weak acting, weak dialogue, and weak story line. Of course the only thing good about it is the one trick pony known as The Piv.
Yes, Jeremy Piven is funny in it, but come on! Is he playing anything different from the character he has played for the past 20 (!) years?
He just has more hair plugs, that's all. Check out the before and after at the top of the page.