Last Minute Hipster Halloween Costume- Your Ideas

Yesterday's post regarding last minute hipster Halloween costume ideas had such positive feedback that I wanted to hear your ideas!

Y'all are so clever...

Hall and Oates- (for Hall) blonde mullet, leather jacket or private detective coat, a list with a woman's kiss print on it, (for Oates) jheri curl wig, mustache, t-shirt with arms cut off, the ability to handle being second fiddle OR I like @dj_orion's idea better: carry around a bag of oats and when people ask what you're doing say, "I'm haulin' oats."

Antoine Dodson- black undershirt, red handkerchief, jheri curl wig, sass, discomfort in knowing that there is something still slightly racist about making fun of this (via josh)

The Hipster Grifter- pixie wig, headband, any Urban Outfitters ensemble, fake tattoos on chest, a copy of Vice Magazine, the weight of the world's hate on your shoulders (via @pollysyllabick)

Marc Bolan- Jheri curl wig, Bowie's hand-me-down fitted velvet three piece suit, boa, and glittery cheekbones (@leviharris)

Zombie David Foster Wallace- long hair wig in pony tail, frameless glasses, flannel, a copy of Infinite Jest, green and white make-up, a noose around your neck  (@benjamindobbin)

Burt Reynolds on Bear Skin Rug-nude underwear around your junk, spirit gum synthetic hair all over your chest and stomach, mustache, cigarette, oh, and a bear skin rug  (via @lugzzz)

Cast of Saved by the Bell- (group costume)-hold up an American Apparel (via @dunphy16)

All of Daniel Day-Lewis' Characters COMBINED!- a mustache, a top hat, a vintage suit with bow tie, a low rumbling voice with an accent of your choosing, a weapon and/or sidekick of your choosing, sex appeal in a bottle (via lola)

Juggalo- and ICP t-shirt, various gothic caccessories and make-up from Hot Topic, a mailing address that is your parent's basement, a deeply rooted hate for the world and yourself (via @mexikinda)

Dr. Strangelove- wheelchair, suit and tie, tinted glasses, blonde bouffant, cigarette, glove, German accent,
love for Peter Sellers (via Jenny) 

Spinal Tap (group costume)- black spandex leggings, guitar, rock star wigs and mullets, foil wrapped cucumber in pants, a sandwich with a toy shark in it, herpes on upper lip.

Corky St. Clair (for the advanced Christopher Guest fan)- blonde toupe, reading glasses, Judy Tenuta t-shirt or silk kimono, My Dinner With Andre action figures, a lisp, and an absent "wife". 

Maura Kelly (Marie Claire despised blogger)- a generous amount of self-loathing, covered by a thin veil (via @zeppomarxist) and clearly a shirt that says, "Thinspiration!" with a photo of Mike and Molly on it (via @inflammatorywrt)

Last Minute Hipster Halloween Costume Ideas

I'd say about 90% of people wait until the last friggin' possible minute to get their Halloween costume. I know this because having worked at a clothing store that is popular around Halloween time encourages every asshole to come in the day of wanting to dress like a 70's porn star or an 80's aerobic instructor and they think they're the first person on the planet to ever come up with that idea.

Some people wait until the last minute because they have no idea what the hell they're going to wear.

If you're one of those people, then look no further.

I have your one-stop last minute hipster Halloween costume go-to guide below.

First, if you're a good hipster, you will already have these items in your collection:

1.) top hat

2.) mustaches of various shapes and colors

3.) bow ties

4.) ties

5.) suspenders

6.) suits- two piece and three piece and of various color and material

7.) horn-rimmed glasses

8.) loafers

9.) vest

10.) Wayfarers

11.) wigs of various shapes and colors- particularly a Justin Bieber wig

12.) fur coat

13.) silk scarves

14.) doo-rag

All of these items must be stored in an old traveling trunk plastered in stickers that you found at a thrift store a long time ago. If you don't own these items, you are not a genuine hipster (and you're probably very happy about that).

For more ideas, also check out last week's post, "Halloween Costume Ideas for Girls with Penis Envy".

Last Minute Hipster Halloween Costume Ideas

Ira Glass- Two piece suit, tie, horn-rimmed glasses, silver hair spray, Woody Allen dialect.

Rachel Maddow- Two piece suit, Justin Bieber wig with bangs combed up, wit and sarcasm.

Jimmy McMillan- suit with "Rent Is Too Damn High" written all over it, doo-rag with "Rent Is Too Damn High" all over it, epic side burn-to-mustache-to-soul patch facial hair, sass.

David Byrne- XXL suit, hangar contraption to hold suit up, horn-rimmed glasses, vacant expression and monotone voice.

David Bowie- too many Bowies to count, but if you want early 70's Bowie- any sort of shiny bodysuit, Justin Bieber wig teased, gold make-up, shaved eyebrows, giant cock...er, I mean sock in crotch of bodysuit.

Bret Easton Ellis Character and/or 80's James Spader- white linen suit with no shirt, loafers, Wayfarers, ring of blood around nostrils, Justin Bieber wig with highlights or slicked back, indifference and ambivalence.

Chuck Bass- white suit or any velour, wildly colored suit, shirt that only buttons to your diaphragm, silk scarf, furrowed eyebrows, smugness, and stifled British accent.

Truman Capote- white suit or any velour, wildly colored suit, vest, bow tie, horn-rimmed glasses, floppy hat, pinky ring, high-pitched voice, and ability to talk incessantly about yourself.

Little Edie- fur coat, doo-rag with broach, faux-aristocratic Hamptons accent, 40 cats on your arms.

Laura Palmer- 20 tons of Saran wrap, white make-up, blue lipstick, eyes closed, and no talking.

Ernest Hemingway- gigantic beard, turtle-neck wool sweater, rum bottle, misogyny.

Zach Galifianakis- gigantic beard, turtle-neck wool sweater, rum bottle, self-deprecation and awkwardness. Oh, and pregnant bump.

Gram Parsons- 70's embroidered button-up shirt, shell necklace, Justin Bieber wig with minor extensions, an acoustic guitar, a pocket full of LSD, and an extreme love of UFOs and the Joshua Tree.

Tell me your ideas!

Halloween Costume Ideas for Girls With Penis Envy

For whatever reason, when I dress up- for Halloween or not-Halloween- I like to either go as 1.) a man or 2.) a woman who dresses like a man or 3.) a crazy old woman. Dressing as someone from my own gender or my own generation just doesn't seem like an option.

I've been this way ever since I was a little girl. I'm not sure what it means, but I have a feeling Freud would have a few theories on it.

So, if you're one of those girls who likes donning a mustache and tie from time-to-time, here are some Halloween ideas to fill that itch.

This year I will be going as two of these costumes combined- Frida Mercury.

For a lot of these outfits, I would tell you to start by looking at the thrift store, but for purposes of the blog, I will share online purchases I have found.

1.) Pee-Wee Herman- The key to dressing like Pee-Wee is getting a suit one size too small. This can be very challenging as it's often difficult for women to find a men's two piece gray suit that is too small for her. 

Believe me, I've tried:

Suit- This suit I found for around $60 on Ebay. It can be tailored to different sizes. It comes from a general men's suit wholesaler, but the seller must have had a sense of humor by pairing up the suit with a red bow-tie. This suit makes me think it's what Pee-Wee would wear if he was cast in a James Bond movie. I found other gray suit options at Gap and Express, but they cost a pretty penny.

Bowtie- $1.49 on Amazon

Shoes- Again, I would look for these in a thrift store, but I found these on Zappos for $46.

Benetint- No PW outfit is complete without the rouged lips and cheeks- $28 (will last you forever)

Hair- As for hair, ladies, I would just try to slick it back as much as possible and draw a little widow's peak in the front.

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2.) Freddie Mercury- Who doesn't want to be Freddie Mercury? He oozed confidence and passion and talent and wonder. He wore whatever he wanted and he got away with it. The costume belowk combines 70's Freddie (sans mustache, longer hair) with 80's Freddie (mustache, shorter hair):

Shiny Suspender Bodysuit-  These are 50% off at American Apparel- $18. Ladies, unless you want your ta-ta's hanging out (which doesn't stop the American Apparel models in the photos), you should wear a nude bodysuit underneath the suspenders.
Shiny Leggings- These are 20% off at American Apparel- $37
Buck Teeth- These puppies are $35 and pretty solid, but I'm sure you can find cheap-o ones in the Halloween store.
Chest Hair- There is something extraordinarily disturbing about that photo below. It looks like a boring merkin. Alternatively, you could just cut up hair from a wig and spirit gum it to your chest or nude bodysuit- $36
Mustache- $8.99 and well worth it...a lady should always stock up on mustaches.
Hair- Again, I would slick back as much as possible or.... I have no idea how to tell you to get that hairstyle above.

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3.) Frida Kahlo- Due to polio that caused one leg to look different from the other, Kahlo wore long billowy skirts that covered her legs. Kahlo wore a lot of traditional Mexican dresses, skirts, and blouses, and rarely went without flowers in her hair:

Blouse and Skirt- Any Mexican dress or blouse and skirt should work for this. You can find them on Ebay or Etsy, but I found this one for $75 at La Mariposa Imports.
Shawl- Kahlo rarely went without a shawl as well- $48 from Frida Fashions
Hair Clip- $16 on Etsy and make sure you put your hair in a braid in the back.
Mustache- Buy two- one to put on your eyebrows and the other to wear above your lip- $8.99
Jewelry- Any over-sized and long costume jewelry should work.

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4.) Annie Hall- The reigning Queen of women's men's fashion. Her look has always remained timeless. The key to this outfit? Confidence. Unlike Pee-Wee, you should find clothing that just a little too big for you, but not unflattering.

Vest- Again, I suggest that you just go to a thrift store for this. Any men's vest and shirt should suffice for this outfit or- $50 at Gap.
Pants- Rummage your closet for those Gap khakis you bought back in 1999 or buy new ones- $44 at Gap
Hat- A purchase that you will wear time and time again- $15.80 at Forever 21
Tie- $9.90 at Forever 21
Sunglasses- $10 at Urban Outfitters