Salute My Shorts

Just as I was coming to terms with the fact that my childhood was over with the crash and burn of X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE, Nickelodeon debuted a comprehensive catalog of old-school Nick shows on Itunes. "Nick Rewind" contains some of the network's greatest hits; "Hey Dude", original "Doug", original "Rugrats", "Aaahhh Real Monsters", and "Rocko's Modern Life". HOWEVER, they forgot three of their most genius works ever- "Are You Afraid of the Dark?", "The Adventures of Pete & Pete" and "Salute Your Shorts". WTF?
WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.
?.

How can you forget these little rainbow sprinkles on our vanila soft serve of life? I saw EVERY episode of "Salute Your Shorts". Which was like 20 episodes. I waited by that God damn TV every week hoping it wasn't the same freakin' episode where the whole camp has chicken pox and Pinsky replaces Michael.

Or what's about Artie, Nick? The strongest man in the world? You're denying him the limelight again?

Oh, oh how about that episode of "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" where these kids get locked in a mall and it turns into a video game. That was the stuff that teenager nightmares were made of! Or MST3K style parodies.

Nick, what are you doing, man? Don't deny us the rest of our childhood. Show the Ug Lee!