Not an Objective Review of X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE

I can't write an objective review of the new X-files movie, I WANT TO BELIEVE. I would have had the same shit-eating grin during the entire movie if David Duchovny starred at the camera and talked about his hemorrhoids for two hours.

All I can say is that watching that movie last night was like revisiting an old friend. An old friend that happily stood over my head, beating the fact that my childhood is over. I watched X-files from the very beginning. I was 10 years old when the first season debuted on Fox and 19 years old when it ended. I watched that show through grade school, junior high, high school, and college. Through the ups and downs I stuck by it. Right now, I'll stick by it again.

I WANT TO BELIEVE has gotten pretty horrible reviews. I was expecting the worst but found that I enjoyed the film. In very short (I'll censor the spoilers though I SO DESPERATELY WANT TO include them), ex-agents Mulder and Scully are brought onto a missing person's case by the FBI. Mulder is a bearded recluse living in the country and Scully is now a doctor at a Catholic hospital. Mulder is reluctant to join the case but will under the condition that Scully join him. The only lead the FBI has is the psychic visions of a pedophile priest. As Mulder gleefully jumps back into a familiar area, Scully retreats into her own concern over a dying child patient. As the movie progresses, Mulder and Scully struggle with their individual demons and part ways. After that, nothing new to X-files- Mulder is up to his old shenanigans and gets into trouble, Skinner appears, Scully saves Mulder, people die, there is some crying, the movie ends.

My question to naysayers, "What did you expect?"
Did you REALLY want to see the black oil shit again? I mean do ANY of us really know what that stuff is even about? Did you really want to see Krychek and Cigarette Smoking Man again? I think those dudes died and came back ten times combined! The alien storyline changed every second of the day. I couldn't keep up with it and I gave up somewhere at the end of season one in terms of understanding it.

I think the problem that people are having with this movie is that it's not the X-files we were all used to. Time has gone by. Mulder and Scully are in different places in their lives....GOD DAMNIT...I'm tired of skirting around it, Mulder and Scully live together, ok? They act like an old married couple but yet still have this weird space between them.
Does it take awhile to digest the fact that they sleep in the same bed? Hell yes. Did it make me super tingly inside? Hell yes. It was intriguing to see these people in a whole new light. Their interaction with each other is almost heartbreaking, understand what they've gone through the past 15 years together (battling various diseases, both dying and coming back, having a child and giving it up). Also, Gillian Anderson is just amazing. AMAZING! I almost came out of the closet last night. She is breathe-takingly beautiful and tragic as the now deeply complex Scully.

In terms of the "X-file" part of the story, well, yeah...it wasn't anything amazing, but it kept me guessing and Billy Connolly did a decent job as the disgraced priest. The story had nothing to do with the familiar aliens and monsters and dealt more with religion and current events. Most reviewers say that the movie is much like an episode of "Law & Order". They're kind of right.

My point? I don't know, ok!?!?!?! I warned you from he beginning I can't be objective! I have a history with this show and that will never change. I still have my make-shift Scully FBI badge I made when I was 11, ok!? Jeez! Just go see the freakin' movie!!