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Hipstercrite: Hipster Valentine's Gift Guide Pt. 1

Monday, February 08, 2010

Hipster Valentine's Gift Guide Pt. 1

It's that dreaded time of year.
That time where you have to buy your special lady or gentlemen friend a gift that says, "Hey, I guess I kind of like you." Or, "I'm completely broke right now, but hey thanks for letting me have sex with you, the best I can give you is your special edition record of "Power, Corruption & Lies" back."

If you're not sure what to get your non-prescription bespectacled lover, then look no further. I have just the thing for you!

1.) Nothing says "I love you" to your lady (or that "I'm secretly in love with mustached men and this is how I'm trying to tell you") more than a Tom Selleck pillow.
Make sure to check out their Chuck Norris and Burt Reynolds pillows as well.
Made in Austin! (of course! where else would you find something soooo ironic?)
(thanks @adleyh)
2.) If you don't know how to tell your baby that you want to bone him/her, then let the Michael McDonald Ultimate Collection do the talking. He knows how.
I can't even count how many times I've boned to McD!
(That's because it's never happened.) :(
(Thank you, Marcos, for recently using the word "boning" and inspiring the usage of that word in this post).
3.) Don't forget to thank your gay boyfriend with Patti Smith's autobiography about her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe, "Just Kids". Who needs a hetereo boyfriend? Who? WHO NEEDS ONE?

4.) Need to tell your honey that you want to write a thinly disguised novel about how crazy she is? Then pick up a copy of F. Scott Fitzgerald's love letters to his wife, Zelda Sayre, "Dear Scott, Dearest Zelda".


5.) You can't forget about the Brandon Bird "Law & Order: SVU" Valentines' Day cards now, can you?



6.) If you're finding yourself all alone this Valentine's Day, then why not treat yourself to the Taschen published "The Big Penis Book"?
And I mean treat yourself.


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18 Comments:

At 11:35 AM, Blogger Apryl said...

That just made my freakin day. I am all over the Chuck Norris pillow.

 
At 11:45 AM, Blogger Suburban Sweetheart said...

I need those Valentines, stat. In frames. All over my room.

 
At 11:49 AM, Blogger The Mad Hatter said...

Do they make the "Norm McDonald playing Burt Reynolds playing Turd Ferguson" on Celebrity Jeopardy pillow happen? I am definitively on board if so.

 
At 11:52 AM, Blogger Hipstercrite said...

@Apryl- Isn't that pillow great? I really wish they'd make a Ralph Fiennes or Jude Law one though...mmmm....

@Suburban Sweetheart- You have to check out the rest of Brandon Birds work. You'll love it. I promise.

@The Mad Hatter- Hahahaha! Brilliant! Wonderful idea. We should email the company and let them know....

 
At 12:25 PM, Blogger Christina In Wonderland said...

Wow... just wow. I think my vocal cords are damaged from the laughter.

 
At 12:48 PM, Blogger That Gal Kiki said...

I completely lost my train of thought after 6.

Great post, mulady.

I used to wait tables in Waikiki (trying to get out of stripping) and Mr. Magnum was a frequent customer. He drank Coors Light out of the bottle and wore Speedos. He was still hunky.

 
At 1:14 PM, Blogger Seattle Kim D said...

I want those SVU Valentine's - hilarious!!!

 
At 1:58 PM, Blogger The mad woman behind the blog said...

When I saw that last pic I nearly choked on my lunch. OMG was my verbal response. Just wow.

that said, thanks, you may have given me some inspiration for my Fine Man Friday post. Yummy.

 
At 2:08 PM, Blogger Sassy said...

TOM SELLECK PILLOW!!!!!! WANT!!!!! I HAVE BEEN REDUCED TO ALL CAPS, THAT IS HOW EXCITED I AM!!!

 
At 2:21 PM, Blogger Hipstercrite said...

@Christina- :)

@Kiki, @Mad Woman- Did you ladies click on the link? They have full frontal shots!

@Kim D- You have to check out Brandon Bird's other stuff.

@Sassy- You know what would be great? If there was a pillow of the full naked picture of Burt Reynolds on the bear skin rug?

 
At 4:12 PM, Blogger Christopher said...

Definitely have to find a copy of that "I'm On Your Tail" valentines card. Thanks for the advice.

 
At 4:13 PM, Blogger That Chelsea Girlâ„¢ said...

Best gifts, ever!

 
At 4:45 PM, Blogger Adley said...

I'd buy this Burt Reynolds pillow in a heartbeat if they made it: http://glosslip.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/smokey_bandit_01_header.jpg

 
At 5:36 PM, Blogger Rusty Hoe said...

Ok I want (no I NEED) the Magnum PI pillow. Do they post to Australia??

 
At 6:24 PM, Blogger Julie, The Wife said...

1) Comes with complimentary NRA membership
2) She said 'boned'.
3) I DO NOT! Bring on the Mapplethorpe!
4) Finishing final chapter of crazy spouse book.
5) Lab results are back - They found your DNA on me!
6) Holy. Shit.

This is the best Valentine's Day post ever. And I'm not just saying that because I'll never meet you. The Austin Tourism Board owes you money.

 
At 4:55 AM, Blogger T!nK said...

"and I mean treat. yourself."

 
At 5:21 AM, Blogger M said...

#3: Yes.

 
At 6:16 AM, Blogger The Mad Hatter said...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=38871072

Another pillow for the collection.

 

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