Bobofication

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I'm currently reading David Byrne's Bicycle Diaries- a 30 year hodge-podge of his observations, diary entries, and blog posts about urbanization, gentrification and transportation taken from the perspective of a bicycle. Byrne often has a child-like approach to observing the world. Everything about us fascinates him. One can see this curiosity in his songs, "Once in a Lifetime", "The Big Country", "Neighborhood", and "Strange Overtones", or his 1986 cinematic love letter to Texas, True Stories. Though he's by no means an expert on anything other than dancing like a mentally challenged person, I've always valued Byrne's commentary. He looks for the deeper meaning behind the obvious and makes us think differently about how we view the mundane and the taken for granted.

In Bicycle Diaries, Byrne takes us on his adventures through major international cities such as Istanbul, Manila, Buenos Aires and American cities like San Francisco, New Orleans, and his current homestead New York City. He describes what works and doesn't work about the city in relation to it's inhabitants- Are citizens able to walk around their city? Are they able to bike around their city? Does the layout of the city create community or destroy it? He also broaches ideas of urban renewal, adaptive reuse, and green technology- What cities are doing it right? (New Orleans) And what cities are still stuck in the Stone Age? (Baltimore)

A particular passage struck me in my reading yesterday. In a section called "Gentrification" in the Buenos Aires chapter, Byrne compares the city with New York. Extreme gentrification has pushed the artists and creative types away from the epicenter of the city, creating a harder challenge for "any kind of scene or movement to gain traction" (Brooklyn?) However, he then goes on to explain how he does not like the rundown neighborhoods that artists then flock to:

"I have no romantic feelings for rundown neighborhoods where crack vials litter the pavement and the plumbing barely works. Granted, those neighborhoods typically offer cheap housing and a tolerance for noise and eccentricity, but to confuse the availability of space with the unfortunate circumstances that often make those spaces cheap is, well they don't need to go hand in hand."

This statement seem very anti-David Byrne to me considering Talking Heads got their start in 1970's East Village, but the man is 59 now and I'm sure he's mellowed with age. Becoming an adult, a parent, and a millionaire often dictates the want to live in a safer community.

Reading that above statement made me think of my own penchant for choosing to live in the semi-gentrified, the semi-crime riddled, or the semi-rundown parts of cities. How I always thought that the areas with the abandoned warehouses, the raw loft spaces, the graffiti, and the concrete paradises were the only place to be. That the only people I could get along with were smattered throughout this mosaic. I've sadly realized that now that I'm getting older, I'm not quite sure I have the stomach for it anymore.

my loft in downtown Los Angeles

When I lived in Los Angeles, I wanted to live in the sketchiest part of town. My family and friends thought I was crazy, but I felt that the only place I could find culture, history, and art was in these places. I rented a unconverted loft in the industrial district of Downtown Los Angeles where the window wouldn't shut and mutant mosquitoes from the neighboring waste plant would gift me with giant welts all over my body. Where I'd listen to rats run alongside my bed. Where I had no hot water, no working kitchen, and cockroaches that liked to skydive onto my face while sleeping. This situation eventually took it's toll on me and I moved to the slightly better Koreatown area. There I had a real apartment in a 1930's brick building. Here I would listen to homeless people violently threaten one another outside my window. Shootings were not unheard and being one of the few young single ladies in the building, I was often harassed. Thinking back, none of my time in Downtown LA or Koreatown made me uncomfortable or scared. It was exciting and I was invincible. I felt that it gave me street cred, that I was one tough cookie, and maybe I thought deep down living in this sort of landscape would uncover some hidden secrets about the city and me.

I currently live in the socioeconomically diverse East Austin. Austin falls in the #203 spot of city crime rankings in America. The Eastside, along with Downtown and Campus area, experience the heaviest crime- though it's typically petty crime such as bicycle theft, property theft, and car break-ins. Violence and murder are very atypical and happen once in a blue moon. Living on the Eastside is generally safe if you don't mind putting up with the occasional panhandler or car break-in. I've experienced two car break-ins, one house break-in while no one was there, and one potential house break-in. All were crimes done out of convenience. It may be because I'm turning 28 this weekend, but much like David Byrne, I no longer have a romanticism for this sort of ambiance. Stepping over used condoms, syringes, and trash ceases to tickle my fancy. Do I want to trade in the diversity and character of an area like East Austin for the comfort and safety of Suburbia? It doesn't seem to be in my nature, but I do wonder if there can ever be marriage of the two?

EastAustin

Gentrification is an interesting subject. A paradoxical dilemma that many are not sure what side of the coin they fall on. You can tell me that I've made my bed and have to lie in it if I chose to live in a neighborhood that wasn't mine to begin with, but should the long-term inhabitants have to experience such danger as well? Graffiti and poster art screaming "Gentrification Hurts" and "Go Home Hipsters!" can be found sprinkled through the Eastside. I tend to agree that when gentrification begins, it spreads fast. Old homes and businesses are bulldozed down to accommodate new condos and storefronts. The developers come in with seeming disregard for the families who have made the area their home. They try to whitewash whole neighborhoods looking for a quick buck. The Eastside went from a handful of bars, restaurants, and stores to a new business popping up at every turn. Luckily most of the spaces snapped up my proprietors have been abandoned buildings or lots reconverted. 

Gentrification is inevitable. Relocating from places to place to place is what we have been doing since the beginning of Mankind. What I am against is alienating neighbors and creating resentment and unease. Am I idealistic in thinking that you can take a more impoverished part of a city and make it livable for all walks of life? That we don't have to push others out by raising the cost of rent, property tax, and goods? Could we build more mixed-income housing, community centers, and transportation systems to connect everyone? Could we clean up streets, add beautification, and outreach services? And though East Austin is attempting all of these things, how do we know if we're trying hard enough? Or is it out of our hands?

What do you think of gentrification?

Your Austin Daily Deal Guide

If you're anything like me, you've signed up for a million daily deal emails and they clutter your inbox each morning. Many of them don't interest me, but I leave them there anyways just in case later in the day I change my mind. I usually don't and then I forget about them and that is how I have over 2,000 emails in my inbox.

Daily Deal Coupons are where it's at. In fact, they're quickly taking over the world. Soon enough you'll be cross analyzing your best offers for your next car, your child's college, and your retirement condo.

Considering Austin is one of the leading American cities for technology and startups, it comes as no surprise that not only are most daily deals available here, but some even originated from here!

Below is a comprehensive list of what daily deals are out there (available for Austin and other major cities) and which ones started in Austin. Enjoy!

Please let me know who I'm forgetting!

General
Buy With Me

Crowd Savings
Daily Dealster
Deal Catch
Deal On
Ever Save

Fly Coupon

Groupon
Home Run

Localiter- Austin based

Living Social

Price Bunch

Social Buy

Tippr- Austin based

Twongo
Yip It

Food

5 Dollar Lunch - Austin based
Austin on the Rocks - Austin based
Frugal Feaster
The Lunch Deal

Restaurant

Travel
Hotel Coupons
Jetsetter
Living Social Escapes
Room Saver
Sherman Travels
Snique Away
Trip Alertz
Vacationist

Austin's Best Of 'Best Of' Lists

I'm sure you've noticed that Austin, Texas SHOWS UP ON EVERY GOD FORSAKEN 'BEST OF' LIST THAT HAS COME OUT OVER THE PAST FOUR YEARS.

Many times Austin is ranked in the top ten. Sometimes it's voted number one.

Now, how do you like them apples, huh?

I'll be honest. I moved to Austin with $500 in my pocket, no job, and only what I could fit into my car based off of these lists because I'm obsessed with lists in general.

I LOVE THE CRAP OUT OF LISTS!

So, below, I've compiled some of the best 'Best Of' lists I've come across where Austin is named.

What have I learned from these lists? 1.) That Forbes has a big ol' boner for Austin 2.) That if I ever join the armed forces and then retire, I'll be very happy here 3.) That I should take up golfing again, especially so I'll be really good by the time I retire from the military 4.) That Austin is THE BEST PLACE ON THE PLANET, DUH!

Austin is featured on so many lists, I didn't know how to break them down! So, the list goes in order of ranking (and truth be told, I could have kept this list going, but I had to stop somewhere!)

Forbes- America's Best Cities for Young Adults #1 out of 10

Portfolio- Best Cities for Young Adults #1 out of 67

Kiplinger- 10 Best Cities for the Next Decade #1 out of 10

Forbes- Best Cities for Jobs #1 out of 10

Yahoo Finance- Best Bargain Cities #1 out of 10

Sperling's Best Places- Best Cities for Dating #1 out of 10

Golf.com- 10 Best Golf Cities #1 out of 10

AOL's Daily Finance- America's 11 Best Cities for Telecommuters #1 out of 11

CNN- Best Big City to Live In #2 out of 10

Military.com- Best Cities for Military Retirees #3 out of 10

Travel and Leisure- America's Best Music Cities #3 out of 30

Forbes- Best U.S. Cities to Earn a Living #4 out of 10

Outside Magazine- America's Best Cities #4 out of 10

Wired- Top Tech Towns #4 out of 10 1/07

Kiplinger- 50 Smart Places to Live #5 out of 50

MovieMaker- 10 Best Cities to Live, Work, and Make Movies #5 out 10

The Daily Beast- 25 Best Cities for College Grads #5 out of 25

Forbes- Best Cities for Singles #8 out of 40

Business Week- Best Cities for Tech Jobs #8 out of 60

The Advocate- Gayest Cities #9 out of 25

CNN- 25 Best Places to Retire #9 out of 25

Forbes- Best Cities for Young Professionals #10 out of 40

Bicycling.com- Top 50 Cities for Bicycling #11 out of 50

Forbes- Best Shopping Cities #12 out of 25

MSNBC- 100 Best Places to Raise a Family #14 out of 100

The Hollywood of Texas: Relocating from LA to Austin

"Hi, I'm an editor from LA and I'm moving to Austin. Is there work for me?"

"Hi, I'm a camera operator from LA and I'm thinking of moving to Austin. Is that a smart idea?"

"Hi, I'm a writer from LA and got totally burnt out. Do you think Austin will be a good place for me to write?"

Hi, my name is Lauren and I moved to Austin from Los Angeles.
Yes, it's true.
I'm one of them.
One of the people you make the above bumper sticker about and place them all over town.

Since moving to Austin, the aforementioned sentences are all questions I've heard repeatedly over the past two years. In fact, during the beginning of the 2010, I was fielding at least 2-3 phone calls a week at the production company I worked for, in addition to the frequent inquiries from friends and blogger buddies.

This year's South by Southwest Interactive even held a panel for creatives, titled, "Making the Move from California to Austin".

So why are Angelenos moving to Austin?

In generalizing fashion: The truth of the matter is, creative types move to LA to find work, only to realize there is nothing creative about it. Then they read about Austin in Forbes/Kiplingers/New York Times/US News/MSNBC/CNN about how Austin is the place to live for both higher quality of life and lower cost of living and, well, then you got yourself a whole bunch of weary Californians in Texas.

So, you really want to know if Austin is a good place to make your movie? Write your screenplay?

The answer is yes.

You want to know if Austin is a good place to work as a producer, an actress, a camera operator, an editor et al?

The answer is kind of maybe not?

Unless you want to work infrequently and for little dough for a long time.

If you're able to deal with that, then by all means, yes yes yes.

The problem is not so much that there is a lack of projects (though like any film city, Austin has its ups and downs) , it's trying to compete for a spot in the already very tight-knit film community.

Heavyweights like Robert Rodriguez, Richard Linklater, and Mike Judge typically bring/keep their work in Austin, but they also have crews they've been working with for years...and just like Los Angeles, it's about who you know and how you maintain those connections.

Local producer, Will Semons, busted his butt for a year in and outside of Austin before he was able to find steady work."But once you're in", he adds, "You have to fit in as well. People get ousted or black-balled because there are enough people here who can do the job and it's a small town."

He also points out that many Austin crew members are relocating to Dallas (larger city, more commercial work) and Louisiana (excellent tax incentives) in order to find steady work.

Now, of course, not everyone shares the same sentiment as Will and I do. Another producer friend points out that budgets are shrinking everyone, so why not move to a town that's more affordable? Though I completely agree with my friend's statement, the truth is, there is a ceiling that exists in Austin, and one that is most often shattered by people setting out forth/returning to Los Angeles and New York City to "make it to the big-time".

To elaborate on the idea that Austin is a good place to make your movie/write your screenplay:
Austin is an extremely creative town with a plethora of very talented people. Every single freakin' person wants to help one another. If you have the time and the money to work on your film, there is no shortage of inexpensive equipment, locations, and hands in Austin to help you. As for writing your screenplay? Austin is a great place! As long as you don't fall into the "drinking-every-night-oops-I-just-woke-up-and-I'm-40-and-still-working-part-time-at-a-record-shop-and-have-never-completed-a-piece-of-writing-in-my-life-but-I'll-keep-calling-myself-a-writer" syndrome.

What is the moral to my story? The grass is always greener in Austin if you live in LA, but the poop colored grass in LA still holds its weight on the black market.

Photographing Austin

Another freelance article about the best photo ops in Austin...but this one got rejected.
So, f you. I'm putting it up on my blog.
(If you find this post boring, I don't blame you. I was bored writing it. Taking the pictures was fun though! I will have new material up this week, I think? I HOPE!)

Let the cheese begin...

Mount Bonnell
Location: 3800 Mount Bonnell Drive Austin, TX 78731

Why not say "I love you" with a breathtaking panoramic view of Austin? Mount Bonnell, located roughly fifteen minutes from downtown Austin, is the spot that lovebirds have been flocking to since the 1800's. It's secluded location and beautiful views of Lake Austin make it a great place to get a little ol' fashion necking in or take snapshots with your honey. Due to it's expansive and scenic backdrop, the park has also been a popular destination spot for photographing marriage proposals. If the sights don't win your girl over, just point to any of the multi-million dollar homes in the area and promise her one of those. Mount Bonnell is located in the upscale neighborhood of West Austin and the best way to get there is via car and GPS. Parking and entry is free and open year round. The best time and place to take photographs is at dusk looking north towards the 360 Bridge.

Daniel Johnston's "Hi, How Are You?" mural
Location: 21st and Guadalupe Austin, TX 78705

Eccentric singer-songwriter Daniel Johnston is popular for many reasons- his lo-fi folk/alt music, his bi-polar disorder, his mental breakdowns- but may be arguably most famous for his Jeremiah the Innocent drawing featured on his 1983 album, Hi, How Are You?". Johnston was a struggling musician in Austin, Texas for many years before garnering popularity when Kurt Cobain was spotted wearing a t-shirt with Johnston's Jeremiah sketch. In 1993, Johnston was commissioned by a local business owner in Austin, Texas to draw the iconic image on the side of his store located at 21st and Guadalupe near the University of Texas. When ownership changed over the years, the mural ran the risk of being demolished. However, with much protest and news coverage the mural was saved and fans can still get their photo taken in front their favorite mentally unstable musician's masterpiece. The mural is located on the side of Crave Thai and Sushi Bar and is accessible from the sidewalk. The best way to get there is to street park and then walk up and snap a photo in front of Mr. Jeremiah.

Barton Springs Pool
Location: 2201 Barton Springs Road, Austin, TX 78746

Austin is full of exciting attractions for the family, but nothing compares to the accessibility, cost-effectiveness, and good ol' fashion fun of Barton Springs Pool. Located in beautiful Zilker Park, this man-made, spring-fed pool as been the go-to place for adventurous families since the 1940's! The pool acts as the perfect day-trip to beat the summer heat and offers a shallow end for the little ones as well as a deep end for adults to stretch their legs. Between the rustic-looking watering hole filled with plants and fish and the sprawling lawn adorned with sunbathing patrons, this location makes for the perfect photo op! The best spot to take photos is at either end of the pool or in front of daring swimmers jumping back flips off of the diving board. Entry to Barton Springs is $3 for adults, $2 for children between the ages of 12-17, and $1 for children under the age of 11 and parking is $3. The pool is open daily from 5AM-10PM. Check the website for more details http://www.ci.austin.tx.us/parks/bartonsprings.htm

Skyline from Town Lake Park
Location: Auditorium Shores on Lady Bird Lake, Austin, TX 78704

Though it's no Manhattan skyline, much is to be said for Austin's ever-changing urban landscape. Where only a few tall buildings stood a few decades ago, now stands numerous business towers, condos, and hotels. So where is the best place to get the perfect shot of Austin's new skyline? Auditorium Shores. Located on the south side of Lady Bird Lake, this scenic park boasts a dog park, hike & bike trail, and lush, green lawn perfect for any picnic. However, the best feature the park has to offer is the perfect photo op of downtown Austin. Climb the grassy knoll at Butler Park to get the best shot, and then look behind you to snap photos of the park's pond and jumping fountain. The best time to take photos is during the day when the hustle and bustle of the city is most prominent. Auditorium Shores and Butler Park are free and open to the public year round. There is plenty of free public parking and the best way to navigate the park is on bike and foot.

Texas Capitol Building
Location: 11th and Congress, Austin, TX 78701

In the midst of downtown Austin lies the heart of Texas politics- The Texas Capitol Building. Completed in 1888, the structure is the largest state capitol building in the country and keeps tourists coming back year after year. The ornate architecture and central location of the building makes for the perfect photo op and one will find visitors lining the well-manicured lawn taking photos in front of the attractive Italian Renaissance Revival structure. Entry to the building is free and during tours, visitors are welcome to snap photos in the chambers where Texas legislation goes down. However, one of the best photo ops is front of or underneath the impressive circular dome. The Texas Capitol is open to the public Mon-Fri from 7AM-10PM and Sat-Sun 9AM-8PM and the Visitors Center is open Mon-Sat 9AM-5PM and Sun 12PM-5PM. Visitor parking is located at 1201 San Jacinto Ave and is free for the first two hours.

The Myths of Austin

Below is a freelance article I was working on that I missed the deadline for (I'm going to make a great freelance writer).
It is about the myths of Austin, Texas and whether they are true or not.
I spent a lot of time reading up on the history of Austin only to realize that it really doesn't have any.
Well it's no New York or Chicago, jeez!

Nonetheless, I was able to scrounge up some interesting (?) myths about this fair city.
(And if I'm wrong with any of these...please let me know so I don't make a huge ass of myself. PLEASE!?)

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1.) Does Austin have a celebrity homeless person?

Yes.

A true testament to the open-mindedness of Austin, Texas, not only does the city have a celebrity homeless person, that same person also ran for mayor! Due to his friendly attitude, activism for the homeless, and unique fashion ensembles consisting of leopard print thongs and high heel shoes, Leslie Cochran has been a colorful, yet notable fixture in the Austin community for years. It's near impossible for locals and tourists not to know who Leslie is. If you haven't seen the magnets bearing his likeness for sale at various stores around the city, then maybe you have the Leslie iPhone app? Or maybe you've heard about his numerous mayoral runs? Leslie has yet to win, but that doesn't stop him from still being the city's most lovable homeless cross-dresser.

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2.) Did Austin erect giant light towers over the city in the 1800's due to a serial killer?

No.

It's commonly claimed that thirty-one, 165 feet "moonlight towers" were erected over the city due to the brutal murders of several young women in the late 1800's. However, that doesn't appear to be the case. In 1884 and 1885 a serial killer known as "The Servant Girl Annihilator" ran amok in Austin, brutally raping and killing seven victims (the link above states that the towers were erected because of the killer but IT'S WRONG...I think?). The moonlight towers, which each illuminated a 1500 feet radius, were constructed in 1894, already ten years after the first murder. The moonlight towers were simply built to help light the city and there is no hard proof that they were built in response to the grizzly killer. 17 moonlight towers still remain.

3.) Did festival-goers stand in sewage during the 2009 Austin City Limits Festival?

Yes.

On Friday of the 2009 Austin City Limits Festival, festival-goers could not ask for a more perfect day at beautiful Zilker Park in downtown Austin. Fast forward to Sunday after uncharacteristic rain poured over the normally sweltering city, and you got yourself one giant mud fest. However, this wasn't any old mud. Patrons started to notice the distinct smell of, for the lack of a better word, POOPIE!, emanating from the festival grounds. Though many didn't know exactly what it was at the time, it was later discovered that the grounds had been treated with a special compost called "Dillo Dirt" that comprised of yard clippings and treated sewage. Either way, that didn't stop festival-goers from rolling around in the "mud" and having a great time at the festival.

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4.) Did a man poison the Treaty Oak because that is where he proposed to his girlfriend and she turned him down?

No.

Many legends have circulated on why one man, Paul Cullen, decided to ritualistically poison a sacred and historical oak tree in the middle of Austin, Texas. Was it because he was in love with another man and was trying to fight his feelings? Was it because he was in love with his psychiatrist who didn't return the love? Was it because he proposed to his girlfriend at that location and she turned him down? Nobody knows what went through Cullen's head that day in 1989 when he poured heavy-duty plant killer on the last remaining Oak of the Council Oaks where in the 1800's, local Native American tribes would hold sacred meetings. According to Texas Monthly Magazine, the mentally-unstable Cullen poisoned the tree "to entrap it's spiritual energy to win the love of a woman or to ward off a rival." Cullen was sentenced to nine years in prison and locals and nature lovers banded together to try and help the sickly tree (which included leaving cans of soup). Ross Perot even wrote a blank check to help fund efforts in saving the tree. In the late 1990's, the tree began producing acorns again and though now somewhat crooked, she still stands strong to do this day.

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5.) Are there hundreds of wild parakeets living in Austin?

Yes.

It doesn't take long for a one to spot the brightly colored Monk Parakeets roaming freely amongst the streets of Austin. These pretty birds have set up nests all over the city and it looks they are not going anywhere. But how did they get here? There is no conclusive evidence on exactly how the parakeets landed in Austin, but there are plenty of fun rumors spreading around. One myth refers to an accident at JFK airport in 1967 that supposedly first introduced Monk Parakeets to the United States. Another story points to local Janet Gilles who released 19 Monk Parakeets into the wild after she got sick of keeping them in the house. Either way, they have become a great addition to the uniqueness of the city.

Austintacious

Hey Everyone,

Things are kind of nutty here with SXSW, so while I work on a bunch of posts for next week, please read a little love letter I wrote to Austin a few months ago.

Stopped at a traffic light last Friday afternoon, I glanced up at a familiar restaurant marquee that usually carried a quip relating to the latest music festival/bike rally/music rally/bike festival in Austin that week. However, this time the words bore a different sentiment: "Go Texas! Win it for Leslie!" The light turned green and I found myself driving south down Congress Avenue with tears pooling at the bottom of my eyelids.

Every Austinite knows who Leslie is. He is the city mascot. The epitome of what makes Austin unique. For those who do not know him, Leslie Cochran is a homeless man who wears a leopard print thong. He has run for city mayor multiple times and has been reviewed 53 times on Yelp. He is an extremely articulate and sweet-natured man. No one has a bad thing to say about Leslie.

Which is why it's so surprising that unnamed assailants beat Leslie to unconsciousness two weeks ago. Leslie was in bad shape and listed in critical condition. The townspeople formed a vigil and the local news gave daily updates on his health. It was looking like Leslie was not going to make it, but miraculously he pulled through and was released from the hospital last week. He has since thanked the locals for their support, stating that he would have not made it through otherwise. Though a percentage of his medical bills have been taken care of, there will be a fundraiser on November 1st to help pay the rest.

By the time I read the sign last Friday, I knew that Leslie was alive and well. What made me tear up was the realization that I live in a town that cares immensely for an eccentric homeless man. It's also a city where that same homeless man can run for mayor multiple times and still get thousands of votes.

Last month marked my one year anniversary of moving to Austin. I moved here with no road map and only what I could fit in my car. The plan was to stay a few months and then see where my ADD took me next. However, whatever energy that made me curious enough to move here has made me stay here. I could tell after my first night in Austin that I was someplace special and I haven't wanted to leave since. Each day this city inspires me more and more and at moments I can honestly say that I'm in love (that could also be because I haven't had a boyfriend in a long time).

So in honor of this city that took me in with open arms after fleeing a tumultuous relationship with Los Angeles, I will begin using this blog for part-time Austin "goings-on", part-time hipstercrite musings.

not sure who the owner of this picture is, but thanks

Welcome to Austin, SXSWers!

First post in my Austin, TX series for SXSW

It's that time of year again.

The time of year where you stock up on your Adderall or Xanax or Xantac or horse tranquilizers and set your Facebook tagged photos to private.

South by Southwest Interactive and Film will be starting this Friday, with the music portion beginning next Wednesday.

What does that mean for you?

That means your chances of getting drunk with Bill Murrary or hooking up with a hipster from Brooklyn who is in a band with the words "bear", "deer", "neon", "gold", or "black" in it have just improved.

If you're new to Austin, here is a list of traits that make our town so unique. Come and join the fun!

1.) The entire city collectively waits with bated breath for the Groupon of the day.

2.) At anytime in anyplace, your chances of hearing New Order playing on the sound system are 2 to 1.

3.) We treat music festivals like national holidays (and we really don't have a choice).

4.) Overhear conversations that start with, (person looking at their Iphone), "Oh, looks like Brooklyn Vegan is following me on Twitter. Cool." (overhear= I said it yesterday).

5.) Facebook comments like, "There is a little kids choir singing Flaming Lips and Wilco at my place of employment right now."

6.) Every single person has a mustache and we have competitions once a month to see who has the best.

Photo by Alison Narro

7.) A 24 hour pecan vending machine in the middle of nowhere.

8.) We eat migas for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and we can tell you exactly where in town the best migas are located.

9.) The rivers in Austin are made of beer and you can often find us knelt in the river bed, stuffing our goard like Augustus Gloop in Willy Wonka.

10.) We quietly judge each other on the make of our bicycles and nothing else.

11.) The older and more worn your clothing is, the more street cred you have.

12.) We do a lot of our business out of Airstream trailers. Mostly for aesthetic purposes.

Look At These Photos! LOOK AT THEM!

So, it looks like my has brain died.

I don't know what happened, but it just doesn't work anymore.

While I take it in to get fixed, check out these photos of Austin.

(You know you love it).

A One Woman Austin Tourism Bureau

An Austin friend, who just drove to California for a getaway, texted me last night to say she is in now love with LA and wants to move there.

Then I threw my phone against the wall.

Having lived in Los Angeles for five years, I understand the allure behind it. Hell, I'm still in love with the city (in a f'ed up Sid & Nancy kind of way), but after hearing horror stories of high unemployment rates, high cost of living, lack of financial aid, lack of unemployment aid, non refund of tax returns, I can't imagine why anyone would want to live there right now. California is a beautiful state that has been run into the ground.

California, one day I may return to you, but get some help. You're looking sloppy.

Why Austin is way better than your city:

1.) Unemployment rate is 6.6% vs. National Average 10.0% (latest stat from BLS Dec 2009)

2.) We have vigils for injured homeless celebrities (who wear leopard print thongs and run for city mayor)

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3. ) There is no state income tax (I bring home the same amount of dough after taxes as I did in LA working at a substantially higher paying job)

4.) We save our bees- When faced with a growing bee infestation, popular local coffee shop, Jo's, decided to donate the bees to whomever would take them vs. killing them.

5.) Travis County voted for Obama.

6.) We have record setting Thriller dances in the street (f you Mexico City! it's not fair that you beat us! you have like ten gazillion more people than we do!) AND we have Michael Jackson dance parties about once a week.

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7.) We play in spring holes. David Byrne approved!

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8.) Our most popular shops are independently owned.

9.) You can have your toes licked any night of the week by blind keyboardist/foot fetish extraordinaire TJ from Foot Patrol.

10.) We all act like a bunch of pretentious NYU film school students (Alamo Drafthouse, I Luv Video, Vulcan Video)...and you know you love it.

11.) We take our clothing to fancy bars, trade them with people, drink, and go home looking fabulous.

12.) Homeless people will have tea parties with blow up dinosaurs on the railroad tracks.

13.) Popular local pizza shop, Homeslice, will give you a free year of pizza if you hold your hand on an sub for 25+ hours.

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14.) Austin musicians are eligible for health insurance.

15.) We have national karaoke competitions and no, we are not dorks. NO, WE'RE NOT!

16.) People don't judge you on what you do, where you come from, or what you look like. The people of Austin encourage each other's differences and support and celebrate individual talents.

With all this being said, don't move here.

Yes, I like karaoke. AND YES, I'M PROUD OF IT!

One of the many reasons why Austin is much cooler than your city, is that it boasts a karaoke tournament.

That's right.

This isn't just any ol' karaoke tournament. It's the f'ing National Karaoke League.

And you're talking to one of the champions right here.

Yep.

Team Steve Perry's Excellent Adventure.

In last year's tournament, we went from being in last place to winning the entire championship in one evening, much to the other teams dismay.

It was like a scene out of any formulaic 80's comedy. We were the nerdy team, the underdog, the John Cusack that rallied against the bullies, the dudes with the polo shirts and perfectly coiffed blonde hair, the James Spaders. 

I took off my pants, Nolan ripped off his shirt, a girl fell and hit her head. 

It was the evening of all evenings.

After competing in yet another round of competition on Sunday (where we happily and willing lost to a drag queen), we've decided to get the team back together. This time, under the new moniker- Steve Perry's Return to Innocence.

Take a peak inside Austin's karaoke world....

And if you have any interest in hearing me sing, go here. 

1987 hits sing/dance-along at the Alamo Drafthouse

Michael Jackson sing/dance-along at the Alamo Drafthouse the day after he died. The energy in the room was overwhelming. It was that night I decided my goal in life was to make people sing and dance A LOT after I die. 

Me screaming for my life after Jennine threw me down on the ground and started humping me in front of 100 people at the Highball. 

Fulfilling my life long dream to be David Byrne 

Ludwig, Nolan, and Adley as the Robert Palmer girls

Inspired by David Bowie's package after going to the Alamo's Labyrinth sing-along