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Hipstercrite: Talk About Bum Cakes My Girl's Got 'Em

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Talk About Bum Cakes My Girl's Got 'Em

As you all probably know, American Apparel is currently searching for "The Best Bottom in the World!" Commentary on this contest is moot considering it does all the talking for itself.

I've combed through over 1200 butts to find you my favorites. Thoughts?

(P.S.- If you get a chance, please check out my post at Alternative Apparel today and let me know your thoughts)


Ginger was surprised at how much the tree tasted like snozberries.

Finally fed up with not being able to get her shirt on, Suzy left the house and was quickly mounted by a neighborhood kid who mistook her for a pony.

Seeing a large American Apparel billboard while walking down Sunset Boulevard, Lindsey had an epiphany. "Is that what I look like?!" she shouted into the air. She promptly turned around and threw up in the nearest trash can.

Steve refused to look out the window and see a world where Geraldo Rivera impersonators are not accepted.

Dana's lifelong dream of becoming a My Little Pony was finally taking shape.

The ideology of butt contests made Jason go into a deep and unforgiving despair.
Julie was afraid that if she stopped running, gravity would soon catch up to her ass and therefore no longer make her relevant.

"Honey, I think there is something on my back, can you see what it is?"

"Daddy, can I put my shirt back on? It's cold."

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24 Comments:

At 8:39 AM, Blogger Doppelgänger said...

Epic pic captions. :)) Kudos for that.

 
At 8:44 AM, Blogger The Mad Hatter said...

I am 100% hetero, so I feel extremely comfortable in saying Steve.

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger Kate said...

As the cool kids these days would say: ROFL! :)

Kate x

 
At 8:51 AM, Blogger Apryl said...

Ok guy on treadmill is my fave.

 
At 8:52 AM, Blogger Christine Macdonald said...

I love it when modern technology is used for good and not evil. Fun!

 
At 9:00 AM, Blogger IT said...

OMGWTFBBQ!!!
I think I've gone blind. It was nothing but asses and elbows.

 
At 9:49 AM, Blogger Daynya said...

hahahahahaha. daddy it's cold. hahahahahaha.

 
At 10:15 AM, Blogger The Mad Dame said...

I think you post has become Rule 34.

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger Hipstercrite said...

@Doppelganger- Thank you for that!

@Mad Hatter- I think he's my favorite too

@Kate- Thanks, Kate!

@Apryl- Me too!

@Kiki- Hahaha....

@IT- I like the BBQ

@Daynya- Doesn't it look like that?

@The Mad Dame- I had to look that one up! Lol!

 
At 11:19 AM, Blogger the eternal worrier said...

Ha Ha.... Steve wins!!

 
At 11:51 AM, Blogger VegKat said...

Julie is awesome, but boy in pink panties (Jason) is lovely, too.

 
At 12:37 PM, Blogger AVY said...

Sorry but that wasn't pretty.

 
At 1:12 PM, Blogger Benny Paul said...

Before reading this post, I was semi-curious about said American Apparel stunt, but thanks to you, I no longer need to actually check out A.A. to be satisfied. Thanks!

Btw I appreciated the "city guide" post. Good combination of statistical facts and one-liners that, in regard to the cities I know, are pretty accurate. Good to be reminded of just how many other cities are out there that are not NYC.

 
At 1:59 PM, Blogger Hannah Miet said...

My favorite but is the boy in despair over butt contests. Mostly because of the competition.

The last caption turns me on.

Dear God, there is something wrong with me.

I kind of want to enter this, but I won't.

 
At 1:59 PM, Blogger Hannah Miet said...

I meant "mostly because of caption."

Ugh.

 
At 2:06 PM, Blogger Hipstercrite said...

@Eternal Worrier- I think he's the fan fave fo'sho (though he is one of the lowest rated on the actual Amer App website)

@Vegkat- I actually picked the lowest rated pics on Amer App. You should see the highest rated ones. Wow!

@Avy- Yeah, butts typically aren't pretty.

@Benny Paul- Thanks for checking out the other article. I really appreciate you constant interest. It means a lot.

@Hannah- Please submit a photo. Please.

 
At 4:54 PM, Blogger Polly Syllabick said...

I am obsessed with this post. Genius captions. These are what those old MAXIM mag's "caption this pic" could have been (Read: funny) if they'd let witty women write that stuff instead of guys typing with one hand...

 
At 6:48 PM, Blogger Kait said...

"'Is that what I look like?!' she shouted into the air. She promptly turned around and threw up in the nearest trash can."

Perfect. Just, perfect.

 
At 7:27 PM, Blogger cjschlottman said...

I want to know where to find the guy on the treadmill! Such great images, Lauren. I agree with Kait about throwing up in the trash can. Could easily been me and most of my friends.

 
At 6:42 PM, Blogger Anodyne Press said...

I'm no where near 100% hetero, so I feel extremely comfortable saying Julie. And Jason.

 
At 10:19 AM, Blogger That Chelsea Girl™ said...

Bawhaha! Good luck, American Apparel. I wish I had Jessica Biel's butt. I used to have a great butt, then I moved to Texas.

 
At 1:33 PM, Blogger T!nK said...

okay. the last one kinda freaked me out. lol.

is it bad that i think the guy in the pink undies (not the treadmill one) looks kinda hot?

also, I really like the one of the girl who is "throwing up" in the trash can, lol. That how I want to look. All the time.

 
At 8:26 PM, Blogger Amanda West said...

Wow. Never looked at so many rear-ends in one sitting.

Lol.

 
At 4:20 PM, Blogger kirstin. said...

wow, this totally made my whole week.
thanks. (: you're too funny!

 

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