The One Where I Couldn't Come Up With A Semi-Witty Title But Desperately Wanted To

I realized recently that I do not get super personal on my blog.

Wait!

That's kind of a lie.

I will talk about former flames and certain traits that they probably don't want discussed on an open forum, former solitary drinking habits, and dreams of running naked through the desert of Western Texas, but I do not talk about the day-to-day aspects of my life.

The only bits of info that you probably really know about me is that I'm in love with David Byrne, Jeff Goldblum, and Crispin Glover and that I like being photographed with mannequins.

Oh, and that I talk about Austin, TX a little too much.

Over the past six months, I've had so many wonderful and interesting new friends join my blog. I would like to share a little more about myself in hopes that you will in turn tell me your darkest secrets.

My son Skippy and I

Name: Lauren

Age: 26

Hometown: Lonelytown, NY (the best thing to do on a Saturday night was go to Denny's....and that even shut down. Now it's Wal-mart)

Current Town: Austin, TX (Heaven on Earth)

Former Town: Los Angeles, CA (Hell on Earth....but in a intoxicating, delicious way!)

Family:

Mom Brenda

Former owner of women's apparel store/Grade A scrapbooker/Best Mom ever created

Dad Karl

Actor/Adventurer/My kindred sprit in daydreaming

Grandma Nan

Former owner of women's apparel store/Mo-fo'ing classiest woman you'll ever meet/83 and fab

Occupation: Perpetually trying to get out of the film industry. When I was 20, I was offered a job in Hollywood that was too good to pass up. I've now spent the past six years wondering what the hell I got myself into.

Relationship Status: fancy free?

Aspirations: When asked this question, I typically stare blankly at the questioner, get fidgety, and quickly change the subject. I've never been able to think beyond what I'm doing tomorrow, let alone years from now. However, as I've gotten older, I realize that there is life after 30 and that that sort of thinking is not gonna fly. So, for the first time ever, I will say that my aspirations are to be a full-time writer that can support herself and any sort of facade of looking like a brilliant, semi-crazy, drunk artist.

Oh, and to have a roundtable discussion with Danny Elfman, Anthony Bourdain, David Byrne, Amy Sedaris, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Harpo Marx, Cary Grant, and Frank Zappa....in bed.

Traits: I obsessively check to make sure the stove is off- even if I haven't used it. I still have my baby blanket which has a rainbow on it and is in awesome shape (rainbows are timeless, I tell myself). I'm told I talk way too much with my hands.

Movies: IN THIS VERY SPECIFIC ORDER: Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Annie Hall, Young Frankenstein, The Jerk, Stop Making Sense, Ghostbusters, Secretary...oh shit, I can never remember 8-10. Let's add all Marx Brothers pre-MGM.

Music: Talking Heads, Oingo Boingo, Frank Zappa, David Byrne, David Bowie, Hall & Oates, Peter Gabriel, Sly & The Family Stone, Talking Heads, Elvis Costello, David Byrne, Talking Heads, David Byrne.

Books: Anything by Bret Easton Ellis and The Giving Tree. And Highlights Magazine. And backs of liquor labels.

Hobbies: Being a f'ing "NATIONAL" KARAOKE CHAMPION!!! (uh....that's about it)

Highlights: Working for quite possibly the best actor in the world, feeling Jeff Goldblum's boner (specifically in that picture below), maybe-sorta-had-the-chance to produce the next Pee-Wee movie (but not really), standing next to Lt. Dangle in his short shorts and not trying to stare at his junk, celebrating my 25th birthday with my divorced parents in a random city, moving from LA to Austin with only what I could fit in my car and feeling like a super bad ass driving down Route 10.

Anything else you wanna know?