"True Blood" Season Finale Left Me Angry and Confused (Enough Spoilers to Ruin the Whole Episode)

As Lafayette would say, "That was some mother-f*ckin' sh*t, bitches." (I don't really feel like swearing this morning).

WHAT HAPPENED?! Did the writers take a vacation the last few weeks of "True Blood"? How did the beginning of the season start so promising , yet end up as a directionless mess? The season definitely plateaued at episode 9," "I Will Rise Up" (when Godric dies, Eric's crying looks like he's laughing like Jerry Lewis, and Sookie wears a tacky red Gingham dress from Forever 21). Now that was some powerful sh*t right there.

Last night's episode, "Beyond Here Lies Nothin'", was quite possibly the worst episode of the season. The ridiculous Maryanne story line ended 30 minutes too early with a David Lynch-esque scene involving blue filters and a bull. After that, the writers bade their time with pointless dialogue and non-story driving scenes. I kept waiting for Maryanne to spring back from the dead, but no such luck. Instead we got dialogue along the lines of, "I don't know about you, but last night was kind of hard for me too" (Said by Sam to Sookie the day after he had his guts cut out by a devil-worshipping Maenad, turned into a bull, and then pierced said Maenad through the heart with his antlers.) Thankfully, Bill didn't have enough scenes to annoy the living sh*t out of us. The Lawrence Oliver deliveries were kept to a minimum and luckily for us, he was kidnapped at the end of the episode. Currently on the HBO homepage, lies an image of Bill and Sookie in an embrace with the words, "Who Captured Bill?" at the top. The answer is, "Nobody cares".

Lowlights:

-What in God's name was the point of Queen Sophie-Anne (Evan Rachel Wood)? Her character did absolutely nothing to the story line. Her house was more fascinating than her. Unless she's coming back for the third season, that was the worst use of a character since, since...nothing! She tops it! Secondly, as beautiful and charming as Evan Rachel Wood is, she's highly unbelievable as a centuries old, ball-busting vixen. Though she may have dated Marilyn Manson, the 22 year-old actress really showed her age trying to force a maturity that only seasoned actresses have.

-The scenes with Eric were pointless. He had absolutely nothing to do with the story line involving Maryanne but was nonetheless forced into it. Let's face it, Eric has become one of the driving forces of the show. The writers know that if he's not in an episode, True Blood fans will most likely throw bottles of overly-priced "Tru Blood" at their windows.

-Eggs' death was forced. We all know he was going to die. Our little Tara could never have true happiness, but why not kill him off during the sacrifice scene? That would have made more sense. But no, you had to fill the holes of the last 30 minutes by making him occasionally pop out of the woods, bat sh*t crazy, and yielding a large knife.

Highlights:

-Jason's single tear that ran down his cheek as he watched his Gran's house get defiled by the townspeople.

-Sam's abs post getting stabbed in them.

-Jane Bodehouse's smile (the crazy lady who cut off her finger). She deserves the award for "Best Shit Eating Grin".

-Bill courting Sookie. It was nice to see the characters get back to the way they were before we ever discovered how annoying they actually are.