Am I the Only One Who Doesn't Like Liz Lemon?

I decided that I don't like Tina Fey (the writer/actress, not the human being).

Not in the I-have-nothing-better-to-do-with-my-life-than-bash-celebrities-that-I-feel-threatened-by-on-the-internet-all-day kind of way. I respect the woman wholeheartedly. I think she is talented and seems like an A-ok gal (though I do believe that the downfall of SNL began when she became head writer...think about it).

Nah.

I just don't like her because I think she gives a bad wrap to intelligent, career-orientated, sarcastic thirty-something women.

Ever notice that ALL of her characters are in their late 30's, have no life, no sex, seem a wee bit desperate, and a whole lotta pathetic? You find yourself sitting there, watching her in "30 Rock", BABY MAMA, or MEAN GIRLS, sweating profusely, fidgeting in your seat, turning to the people next to you, screaming, "This is funny? THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE CALL FUNNY?"

Maybe I'm the only one who does.

Maybe I'm afraid, ok?!

Maybe when I watch these characters, I think, "Shit, that's me in twelve years- a slave to my thankless job, child-less, husband-less, and constantly reguritating awkward witty comments at any poor schmuck who walks by."

I don't want to be Liz Lemon!

NEVER EVER!

I see those women and their respective elder conterparts! Here in Texas they're tall, with slender non-child bearing hips. They have beautiful long silver hair and pentetrating eyes. Under the years of sun their leathered skin soaked in, you can see the beauty queen of their high school graduating class. They're maybe wearing dream catcher earrings they made themselves, because that's all they do now- hand craft jewlery. Years ago they were a marketing executives or actresses. Now they live in an Airstream trailer somewhere outside of town and only eat raw food and talk about all their former beatnik lovers they once had who went straight and have wives and children now. They have friends all over the world, but they spend their remaining days painting murals on their kitchen walls and talking to squirrels.

They scare the living shit out of me.

While I talk to them, I try to stomach the creeping sensation that that will be me when I'm 50.

I don't want to be someone's crazy Aunt! The one everyone talks about in hushed tones at family reunions.

Ah shit...I don't even have siblings!