Best U.S. Cities For Young People

Last week, Forbes released their annual "Best Cities For Young Adults" list and guess who was number one?

GUESS RIGHT NOW!

Yes, it was Austin, Texas. The lovely city where beer grows on trees and we all live in a perpetual state of twenty-something whether we're thirty-something or forty-something. Austin is like adult Disneyland- if Mickey stumbled through the park drunk, unshaven, and stroking his Stratocaster.

Besides the demographic of man-children running amok, this city truly does have a lot to offer young people. Employment at fun and innovative small business-like corporations such as Whole Foods, Sweet Leaf Tea and Gowalla, more film, art and music events than one can count on their appendages, a vibrant culture, and really really good-looking people.

Four Texas cities made it on Forbes' list (Austin No. 1, Houston No. 2, Dallas No. 6, and San Antonio No. 9) New York, Chicago, Denver, Seattle, Atlanta, Minneapolis-St.Paul rounded out the rest. These are all good choices, but I noticed a few glaring holes! Below are my picks of top places for young people to live in America.

What other cities do you think are good for young people?

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1.) Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Population- 494, 486 (metro)
Motto- "Home of the Peeps-As in the Candy, Not Cool People" 

Whether you're interested in the art of canning or helping others to can Lancaster is the place for you! Nestled in the armpit of Pennsylvania, Lancaster is only a short distance to such historical landmarks as the entire city of Philadelphia and the King of Prussia Mall.  This quaint little town is known for it's covered bridges, quilts, bed and breakfasts, and I'm not sure what the hell else, really. What makes this place great for young people? Your choice in the creme de la creme of socially-defective romantic partners. Once you go Mennonite...you stare out the window for long stretches of time, tracing the words "Help Me" over and over again in hot breath condensation.

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2.) Naples, Florida
Population- 314,649 (metro)
Motto- "Where The Median Age is Older Than Florida"

Located right on the Gulf, Naples is a tropical paradise like no other! With the median age of residents at 61, any young person is guaranteed to find themselves a Sugar Momma or Daddy in no time. Soon enough you'll be living next to the likes of Donald Trump, sharing plastic surgery horror stories with Buzz Aldrin, and playing pick-up b-ball with Larry Bird. Watch out for that incontinence, Larry! What makes this city great for young people? Whether your vice is golfing, fishing, or all-you-can-eat buffeting, Naples is a hot spot of activity for any young person going through an identity-crisis.

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3.) Flint, Michigan
Population- 443,883 (metro)
Motto- "At Least St. Louis Was Number One This Year"

If deindustralization, urban decay, and the demise of the American Dream is your thing, then look no further than Flint, Michigan. Home of Michael Moore and massive amounts of annihilation, Flint has repeatedly been in the top five most dangerous places to live in America. Only an hour drive from it's sister-in-death, Detroit, this area of Michigan is great for any person who likes living life on the edge...of the black void known as Satan's Lair. What makes this city great for young people? No really, I'm asking...

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4.) Phoenix, Arizona

Population- 4 trillion (metro)

Motto- "Cook a Turkey On Your Toyota Corolla TODAY!"

With a city square mile calculation bigger than Chicago, Boston, and Atlanta COMBINED, Phoenix is the place to go if you want to get lost. Or work at your choice of big box corporations. Or join McCain's plight to end civilization as we know it. Phoenix, or "Methlandville", as translated by the Hohokam people who first lived there, is known for being hotter than balls and having more Waffle Houses than one could possibly hope for. What makes this city great for young people? With no semblance of community, an inactive downtown, and more Freeway exits than citizens, what young person wouldn't want to live here? 

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5.) Bismarck, North Dakota
Population- 106,286 (metro)
Motto-"We Exist"

With a state-wide population smaller than Boston, a 2.7% unemployment rate, one downtown building that is taller than two stories, and the racial make-up of white people, young white people, and old white people, this city is a shoe-in for any young person looking for adventure. Why is this city great for young people? Well, if you've always wanted to live out your fantasy of becoming a ranch hand in a Coen Brothers movie in your head, here is your chance. Also, this place is littered with Jesus Camps, so make sure you practice your Glossolalia and dance shimmies.