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Hipstercrite: My Halloween Costume (Fail)- Freddie Mercury

Friday, October 29, 2010

My Halloween Costume (Fail)- Freddie Mercury


As most of you know- because I yaked on about it enough- I'm going as Freddie Mercury for Halloween.

I take dressing up very seriously.

Maybe even a little too seriously.

For some reason, I still believe that if I truly want to become someone, I will physically transform into them.

Imagine my disappointment when after dressing up as Freddie Mercury last night, I realized I'm still just a tiny white girl and not a large-toothed, hairball Parsi with the vocal cords of a God.

1.) I survived a visit to Austin's favorite costume store- Lucy In Disguise With Diamonds- to pick up my Freddie mustache, chest hair, spirit gum (adhesive), and spirit gum remover.


2.) I asked the employee if they sell chest hair and she handed me what looked like a stoner's ratty chin braid. Once home, I unraveled the lock of hair to discover the left-overs of Alec Baldwin getting a full body shave.


3.) I could barely contain my excitement of donning chest hair later in the evening...


4.) But when I put it on, I realized that I looked like Robin Williams and I got scared.



4.) My excitement now deflated, I decided to move onto to the mustache. I trimmed it a little bit, then slopped on as much spirit gum as I could.


5.) Oh, dear God...


6.) I realized that I had to stop being a pussy...


7.) ...And own Freddie Mercury.


Who am I kidding? I look like I ate Burt Reynolds circa 1972 and then regurgitated him all over myself.


What are you going as for Halloween?

14 Comments:

At 8:28 AM, Blogger Robbie said...

Theres a guy in the pub I work at that is coming to our party as Gomez Adams. For the last 2 weeks plus he has been growing his moustache. Thats commitment to a costume.

But yours is looking like it's coming together. Hope you dont have any upperlipslips. Good luck with the final product

 
At 8:50 AM, Blogger theTsaritsa said...

The clothes make the costume! Just don something fabulous and sing Queen songs all night-- you'll be great!

I kinda like the chest hair, it looks really awesome.

 
At 8:53 AM, Blogger Linda said...

LOVE it. You truly commit.

 
At 9:15 AM, Blogger joanna said...

lol

 
At 9:47 AM, Blogger Mademoiselle Hautemess said...

A fake mustache is such a beautiful thing! LOVE THIS!

 
At 9:50 AM, Blogger Amanda said...

As long as you can still drink with that mustache on, work it girl.

I'm going to be a bluestocking. And by that I mean I'm going to make the real bluestockings role over in their spinster graves with blue thigh highs and a short skirt.

I think Dorothy Parker, had she donned blue stockings, would be proud of my decision.

 
At 12:00 PM, Blogger Christopher said...

ha, that was rather adorable

 
At 12:26 PM, Blogger Jill said...

lol omg
i give you props girl!
That is one brave costume. I'm being a radio city rockette this year, but I'm afraid I'm going to be confused with a slutty mrs.santa claus lol because it has booty shorts.

 
At 12:38 PM, Blogger Hipstercrite said...

@Robbie- Gosh, you should see the hipsters in Austin, TX. They all have mustaches and all want to look like famous people with mustaches!

@Tsaritsa- I'm going to wear tight black pants, a white under shirt, and a black English military-looking jacket.

@Linda- Hahaha...sigh.

@Joanna- Maybe it will be a new fashion trend? Women with chest hair?

@Hautemess- I love real and fake mustaches. Well, not a real mustache on me, but on dudes.

@Amanda- Well, you learn something new every day. I had to look that one up. Kudos to you!

@Christopher- Why, thank you. ;)

@Jill- Maybe you can be both?

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger William said...

I'm a colourless Mad Hatter, and here today at work rocking it!

 
At 10:31 PM, Blogger laurenne said...

dude! You're a HOT Freddie. I love it.

 
At 7:48 AM, Blogger Trina Hern├índez said...

I don't know what you're talking about, that chest hair is awesome. Although, that expression you made along with the comment about looking like Robin Williams was a bit accurate. Once you slapped on the 'stache and 'tude, you were slowly transforming into FM. Hope you have a lovely Halloween! I'm not one for dressing up or partying, so I'll be home watching TV. Yay!

 
At 10:28 AM, Blogger amy said...

You look AMAZING! I must prefer awesomely hilarious costumes to ones that try to be cutesy/sexy. (Because that's just lame.)

 
At 11:51 AM, Blogger Melanie's Randomness said...

Your not Lady Gaga or Snookie but original so I give you a big A+!! With the clothes & the microphone & the attitude your golden. It works!!! Happy Halloween!!

 

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