Dad, Please Stop Reading My Blog...

...It's making me uncomfortable.

Sigh. I knew this day would come.

I really appreciate you taking an interest in reading it, but it's creeping me out.

I know it's a good way for you to see into the brain of your daughter, but it unnerves me that you can read all about my dating history and other slightly embarrassing facts that I don't mind sharing with the world, but mind sharing with you.

You know how you want to keep a golden image of yourself with me? Well, that's the same way I feel about me to you! I don't want you knowing that I had an affair with a big Hollywood agent (actually, you already know this) or that I used to drink myself to sleep on Friday nights at 9PM (oh wait, you know this too because I used to call you before passing out). Well, it's more of that now I feel like I can't write about certain things. I just picture you sitting there at your comp, thinking, "What's my wonderful little girl up to today?", click on my website, see a posting that says something along the lines of, "Fun With Whip Cream" or "My Parents Made Me This Way" and either freak you out and/or upset you.

Ok, look. You can read my blog. However, I'm not going to censor it, ok?

I'll just have to give you fair warning. For both our sakes.

I don't want our next phone call conversation to start with awkward silence, then you saying, "Honey, are you really that messed up...and did I have anything to do with it?"